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Democracy is Bad for the Economy! Cowardly Lion explains why we really don't want him at work.
After unsuccessfully trying the, 'nobody cares, it's no big deal,' and the, 'we can't walk and chew gum at the same time' "time to recalibrate" excuses, absentee Prime Minister Stephen Harper is now attempting an economic argument to explain why he used prorogation to stop the embarrassing investigation into Afghan detainee abuses. Claiming that "the government can take time now to do the important work" (while there aren't such pesky distractions as opposition MPs asking embarrassing questions and demanding accountability), Harper made his case using logic that any dictator would be proud of - and claimed that financial markets don't like the "kind of instability" that comes with a functioning Parliament. With the obvious implication that a return of Parliament would threaten Canada's economic recovery, the nation now knows that if they love democracy, they hate Canada. AND the soldiers. Meanwhile, proving that the Alliance/Tory caucus will be hard at work during the break, all government MPs are required to return from across the country to Ottawa on January 22nd for a … two and a half hour meeting … before flying out again until after the Olympics - and the PMO released a clearly staged, silent, 13 second, video clip, showing the PM and four of his best-trained cabinet ministers looking very ministerial. (Well, all except for Peter Van Loan, who apparently isn't allowed to sit at the cool kids' table.) Now that three imaginative attempts have been made to explain Harper's phobic fear of accountability, the nation waits in rapt anticipation to see what excuse the PM might use next. ================== Democracy Kills Puppies!!!! |
The voice of more Canadians than any of the nations' 'mainstream' political parties (and representing 4.3 million more eligible voters than the 'victorious' Conservatives in the 2008 federal election), the UDP was founded on the realization that no matter which established party we vote for, the resulting administration will always be the same - and that's not a happy thought.
In recognition of that fact, and realizing that they could no longer in good conscience have any part in 'hiring' an applicant who, despite lying on his/her resume, failing to live up to promise of performance agreements, and doing an all-round lousy job, cannot be 'fired' for as long as four years, more than 40% of Canada's eligible voters chose not to choose in the last federal election - and many of those undecideds expressed their specific allegiance to this party by downloading and using UDP signs, bumper stickers, T-shirt designs, and the especially popular Do Not Disturb anti-campaigner door knob hanger. (See our "Take Part" page.)
Now, as we brace ourselves for a new session (and the unlimited supply of bovine feces that will come along with it), we welcome returning visitors and invite newcomers to take a few minutes to familiarize themselves with this exciting -and undefeated- political disorganization and its fake political platform. (Not unlike most political platforms.)
In the meantime, we thank you for supporting the Undecided Party, the right-on write-in and the ultimate opt-out!
AND NOW, UNTIL THE NEXT TIME,
WE OFFER THE UNDECIDED PARTY
'POST-ELECTION'
T-SHIRT DESIGNS!!
In celebration of the end of weeks of concentrated moral turpitude and verbal incontinence, and in recognition of the impressive number of Undecided Party T-Shirt designs (as well as other paraphernalia) that were downloaded from our "Take Part" page during this 'difficult time,' we're bringing back our popular concept in campaign bumf - the post-election / inter-election, Undecided Party T–Shirt!
Simply download either or both of the designs below to use as a T–Shirt or simple sign (remember to flip the image in your printer's options if you're printing the design on iron-on transfer paper), and wait for the first major scandal or embarrassment to befall the new government. (Shouldn't take long.) Then -and any time a new uproar surfaces- break out your UDP post-election materials and remind neighbours, friends, and strangers on the street just how bad a decision they made in the polling booth.
Educate voters for the next election. Show your pride in having made the right choice. Use the shirts as conversation starters at singles night. The UDP post-election T–Shirts may well redefine partisan political apparel, and you can be on the leading edge of that wave!
(The Undecided Party of Canada is not responsible for any fist fights or other acts of violence that may occur as a result of taunting members of other parties with post-election materials.)
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