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"Honourable" Members Would you like to find a way to finally get the Parliament to work together? Perhaps even see absolute unanimity across party lines –in both the House of Commons and the Senate– and watch as former adversaries link arms and march together singing solidarity forever? Simple. Present them with a threat to their own asses. The Conservatives, elected on a promise of transparency and accountability (stop laughing), and the opposition parties, who remind Harper of his unwillingness to keep those promises on a daily basis, and who themselves have just engineered a deal to see the Afghan Detainee documents on the basis of the Canadian people's 'right to know,' have decided together that all those high ideals apply to everybody but themselves - and told Auditor General Sheila Fraser to go pound sand. Fraser's plan? To conduct a performance audit (to see if money spent was well spent) on the 533 million dollars doled out annually by the Commons and Senate. Considering the the money involved, and spending irregularities recently uncovered in Nova Scotia and Newfoundland, one would think that's probably a good idea. Unless, apparently, one is one of the ones spending the money. According to the Board of Internal Economy (which deliberates in secret), the "control mechanisms" currently in place, such as a KPMG financial audit (also kept secret) ensure that everything's on the up and up. Which then raises the question that, if they're sure everything's fine, why are they afraid of Fraser's audit? NDP member Joe Comartin of the NDP declared it should be, "...the electorate who makes those decisions as to whether we spend our money properly." Of course, to make those decisions, the electorate would have to know how the money was actually being spent ... say, with a performance audit. But the Honourable Members won't allow that, and any Canadian who wants to know more about how their own money is being spent can join Sheila in her sand pounding. "Trust us." say the politicians. No. Seriously. That's their position. And why wouldn't we trust them. They're Honourable Members, right? ------------------------------ From the original (2004) and still appropriate Undecided Party platform; From the original (2004) and still appropriate do-it-yourself Bumper Sticker collection;
"Solidarity forever......" |
The voice of more Canadians than any of the nations' 'mainstream' political parties (and representing 4.3 million more eligible voters than the 'victorious' Conservatives in the 2008 federal election), the UDP was founded on the realization that no matter which established party we vote for, the resulting administration will always be the same - and that's not a happy thought.
In recognition of that fact, and realizing that they could no longer in good conscience have any part in 'hiring' an applicant who, despite lying on his/her resume, failing to live up to promise of performance agreements, and doing an all-round lousy job, cannot be 'fired' for as long as four years, more than 40% of Canada's eligible voters chose not to choose in the last federal election - and many of those undecideds expressed their specific allegiance to this party by downloading and using UDP signs, bumper stickers, T-shirt designs, and the especially popular Do Not Disturb anti-campaigner door knob hanger. (See our "Take Part" page.)
Now, as we brace ourselves for a new session (and the unlimited supply of bovine feces that will come along with it), we welcome returning visitors and invite newcomers to take a few minutes to familiarize themselves with this exciting -and undefeated- political disorganization and its fake political platform. (Not unlike most political platforms.)
In the meantime, we thank you for supporting the Undecided Party, the right-on write-in and the ultimate opt-out!
AND NOW, UNTIL THE NEXT TIME,
WE OFFER THE UNDECIDED PARTY
'POST-ELECTION'
T-SHIRT DESIGNS!!
In celebration of the end of weeks of concentrated moral turpitude and verbal incontinence, and in recognition of the impressive number of Undecided Party T-Shirt designs (as well as other paraphernalia) that were downloaded from our "Take Part" page during this 'difficult time,' we're bringing back our popular concept in campaign bumf - the post-election / inter-election, Undecided Party T–Shirt!
Simply download either or both of the designs below to use as a T–Shirt or simple sign (remember to flip the image in your printer's options if you're printing the design on iron-on transfer paper), and wait for the first major scandal or embarrassment to befall the new government. (Shouldn't take long.) Then -and any time a new uproar surfaces- break out your UDP post-election materials and remind neighbours, friends, and strangers on the street just how bad a decision they made in the polling booth.
Educate voters for the next election. Show your pride in having made the right choice. Use the shirts as conversation starters at singles night. The UDP post-election T–Shirts may well redefine partisan political apparel, and you can be on the leading edge of that wave!
(The Undecided Party of Canada is not responsible for any fist fights or other acts of violence that may occur as a result of taunting members of other parties with post-election materials.)
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